Blaine High School RANT – School Lunch Line Equals Mosh Pit

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Blaine High School RANT – School Lunch Line Equals Mosh Pit

Tyler Antczak, Magician

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I think it’s time to discuss a very serious and controversial topic concerning this school. Our school lunch line. Ok wait, let me rephrase “lunch line.” Let’s just call it a mosh pit for the time being. Because that’s all that this so called “line” is. Everyone in the pit is harshly and quickly pushing forward to get their fries at the center. I remember the days back when I was in middle school, and if you stood funny in the lunch, cut in front or bumped into somebody, you got booted to the back of the line by the Lunch Nazis. Nowadays it’s a free for all. Don’t get me wrong, I hated the dreaded Lunch Nazis of middle school.

I love the freedom of the lunch lines at Blaine. However, there are so many flaws with how people get their food. For one, if you don’t get there early enough you stand at the back of the line for at least ten minutes or so. Also, while I stand in line waiting to grab my “meh” food, all these teachers that come get a school lunch think they can just come to the front of the line. What? is it because you went to college or something? So not fair. The key to getting through the line quickly is simple: find the gaps between people, and keep pushing through them to the front. I have tried being nice by letting people in front of me, but I have seen the dark side of this mosh pit too many times. I have waited so long for a lunch at times, that I could have brought a little George Foreman Grill, and enjoyed a big T-bone steak for lunch.

One of the biggest and most frustrating concepts practiced by students every day at this lunch line, is the art of taking too long to grab a frickin’ scoop of peaches. This is by far the most pristine art out of all the the things that come out of Blaine High School. These kids spend more time taking a scoop of fruit or picking a basket of fries than on their ACT exam. Just so you know I’m not just trying to add words to this rant, next time you’re halted in the school’s lunch line, look to the front and there’s bound to be somebody trying to count how many fries are in that basket.     

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