In an astonishing turn of events, republican front runner Donald Trump has been replaced atop the polls by…a donkey. Though it is the symbol for the democratic party, Republican voters seem to be more entranced with the candidate’s resonating message, rather than its appearance. In a national poll conducted by CNN, the donkey was supported by 57% of Republicans. Donald Trump has yet to respond to this shake-up in the race, but one is expected soon.

At a rally that I attended in the Blaine auditorium earlier this week, the donkey was led to the stage by two secret service agents. At once, the crowd was worked into a frenzy, chanting, “DONKEY DONKEY” a few of the less intelligent in the crowd were chanting “TRUMP TRUMP,” as they couldn’t tell the difference between the two candidates.

To roaring applause, the donkey exclaimed that it would, “EEE AWW” ISIS, and that it would “EE AW” a wall and make “EEEE AWWW” pay for it. It was at this time when it first defecated, a collective relief was felt, as it didn’t come out of the donkey’s mouth, like it had with Donald Trump. Going on to the next part of his stump speech, the donkey stated that “E AWWWWWW” would be the greatest president of all time. The crowd apparently agreed, as the only thing one could hear for about 5 minutes afterwards was an imitation “E AWWWWWW” from all corners of the auditorium.

After this, the donkey was clearly flushed with pride. Unable to take any more applause, the donkey walked off the stage, showing more human emotion than his predecessor ever had.
Trump’s been down before, but when he’s facing someone as inflammatory as himself, all bets are off. All I know is that the convention in July is going to be a very interesting one. It’s Donald vs. donkey, and the GOP hopes to ride either all the way to the white house.