Conspiracy Theory: Blaine is Infested with Communist Spies

Beware, a revolution may soon follow.


Anonymous, Blueprint Staff


Lately I’ve been noticing some suspicious activity in some of my classes, and after discussing with a few others, I’ve come to a shocking conclusion. The next communist revolution will start here, at Blaine High School.

Now, at first this may seem a little far-fetched, but it actually makes a lot of sense. My first clue was when communist principles started entering conversations completely out of context. At first, I ignored this. Why would communism come up in my Principles of Engineering class? I didn’t know, and at the time I didn’t particularly care. But it wasn’t a one-time thing. In every one of my classes, someone brought up communism. Eventually, I started to wonder why people were suddenly so interested in the philosophy. After conducting a little research, I discovered another intriguing fact. My second clue. Multiple people in my grade had either read or owned the Communist Manifesto.

This had to be connected to the communist conversations I’d been hearing. But I still didn’t understand why the philosophy was making a resurgence. Then it hit me. These people must be spies sent by communist nations to start a revolution in our humble high school.

By this point, I had identified multiple suspects. For the seniors, Mitchell King. He was a known propagator of communist principles. I couldn’t pinpoint any juniors, so that grade must have been spared. However, two sophomores stood out as possible communist spies. Both Wren Farrell and Alyssa Blake are quick to defend communism when attacked by some of our more capitalist classmates.

What do these three all have in common? They are all in the CEMS program. Obviously, this is the entry point for these spies. What better way to learn about the United States’ scientific advancements and capabilities than from an engineering-oriented program? Not only that, but this program also provides the perfect cover for the spies. To explain their sudden appearance, they can claim they come from out of district, and anyone who knows them must also be a spy. This means there are likely close to fifty communist spies in our midst.

But why are they here?

The answer is obvious, we are here to start a communist uprising.