As a new school year dawns, the BHS Blueprint provides insightful tips to help you become your teacher’s favorite student.

• Click your pen as loud as you can in class.
• Open chip bags as slowly as possible.
• Blow your nose right when your teacher starts talking.
• Give your teacher live feedback about how exciting their lectures are.
• Ask “Did I miss anything important yesterday, or was it just a normal day?” after missing class.
• Never push in your chair.
• Play music through your earbuds loud enough that everyone can hear it.
• Exclusively call your teacher by their first name.
• Answer your phone when it rings in class.
• Dab.
• Walk in 2 minutes late to every class carrying McDonalds.
• Ask “When does class end?” 15 minutes into class.
• Insult your teacher’s favorite cactus.