Knowing how to interview is an important life skill.  Good interviewing skills will maximize your chances for impressing your interviewer and getting a job.  Here at the BHS Blueprint, we’ve come up with some tips that will help you improve your interviewing skills and nail your next interview.

1. Repeat the phrase, “I speak Norwegian”; interviewers love bilingual employees.
2. Bring your cat.
3. Your attire is an opportunity to separate yourself from the competition; try wearing a T-Rex suit.
4. Stalk.
5. When your interviewer asks you to take a seat, don’t. Establish dominance.
6. Ask the interviewer if they are also racist.
7. When asked “Why should we hire you?” Answer “I wouldn’t.”
8. When asked “What is your greatest strength?” Say, “I have none.”
9. Insist that résumé is pronounced “Re-Zoom.”
10. Pack your cowbell in case they ask if you have any special skills.
11. Answer all questions “Yes” or “No.”
12. Tell the interviewer “My mom made me come.”
13. Turn the tables and question the interviewer’s qualifications to interview you.
14. Start eating your lunch and discuss the bodily effects of asparagus
15. Bring some of your drawings from preschool to demonstrate your creative abilities.
16. Discuss your previous successes in shoplifting to show that you know what to look for.
17. When asked what your greatest weakness is, say “all of them.”
18. Demonstrate your incredible clock-reading skills by telling your interviewer where the big hand and the little hand are.
19. Ask to be paid in Hot Wheels cars.
20. Refer to yourself in the third person as “God Incarnate.”
21. Ask your interviewer if they have an outlet for you to charge your phone.
22. Use your recent jail time as an example of how you deal with adversity.
23. In the middle of your interview, stop suddenly, look around, blink several times, and ask, “Where am I?”
24. Ask them about their family and say “I don’t care” as soon as they start talking.
25. Brag about your participation trophies in sports.
26. Inform the interviewer that you aren’t good at calendars.
27. Make the interviewer guess your middle name.
28. Ask the interviewer to leave when it’s over.