America, Welcome to Greatness (Again)

A visual representation of Trump's

A visual representation of Trump's "Cut Cut Cut Act"

Van Dradis, Blueprint Staff

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Oh, the time is nigh! America is about to be great again folks, and I’ll tell you why: the president’s aptly titled “Cut Cut Cut Act” (yes, that’s really its proposed name) that is sure to pass both chambers of Congress. This will likely be the biggest piece of major legislation the administration will pass in its first year, and it is spectacular.

This bill cuts taxes for everyone: individuals, families (over $1,000 per year, according to House Republicans), and corporations (who see an incredible drop from 35% to 20%). Yes, economists are saying it’s going to add $1.5 trillion dollars to the deficit over the next ten years, but that doesn’t sound right, so they should just shut up. Other people say that the only ones who benefit from this plan are in Trump’s tax bracket. Those people are also saying that the Trump family could save up to $1.1 billion on the estate tax cut alone, but we don’t trust numbers here unless I like them. For instance:

States in the union: 50 (good number)

Number of Presidential elections won by Hillary Clinton: 0 (great number)

Number of Ted Cruz’s dads involved in the JFK assassination: 1 (good, but sad, number)

You see, those are the kinds of numbers that we can trust, because they feel true. Everyone knows that math has always had a strong liberal bias, so you can’t really trust it to be fair to the president.

What this bill’s detractors are missing is that the government is finally going to be out of our wallets. This administration came at a time where government regulation had been forced into every aspect of our lives. We have to wear seatbelts at all times in motor vehicles, we have to do copious amounts of paperwork when we file our taxes. Heck, I can’t even do donuts in the elementary school parking lot anymore.

“That government is best which governs least,” is a classic Republican montra with which I totally agree, that’s why William Henry Harrison is my favorite president. But Trump has taken that to the next level. He not only governs less than any other president in recent history, he governs in the interest of fewer people than ever before too. Now if that’s not responsible management in the executive branch, I don’t know what is.

This is trickle-down economics the likes of which have never been seen in our country’s history. That means that people at the heads of corporations will have more money than ever before, which has always translated into better wages for people at all income levels. That has to be true because that’s what Republicans have been saying for since Reagan left office. Why would they lie about something for so long?

These tax cuts offer the American economy a new life. A life that has been stolen from it by incompetent Democrats for years.

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