A recent Gallup survey reported that 87% of Americans believed that Donald Trump, if elected to the presidency, would blow up the world with America’s nukes.  In a separate survey, 72% of Americans claimed to support Trump.  By this logic, at least 59% of Americans support Trump despite their belief in his nefarious schemes.

To understand why any human with an IQ greater than a garden shed would vote for Trump despite believing that doing so could cause the apocalypse, we interviewed Chuck Murphy, a die-hard Trump supporter who has expressed his belief that Trump will blow up the world (and has a confirmed IQ well above that of a garden shed).  Our interview went as follows:

Me: Do you support Donald Trump?

Chuck: Absolutely!  Make America great again!

Me: Why do you support Trump?

Chuck: He’s the only candidate on either side who’s qualified for the job.  All the other candidates have no political background and have no idea what they’re doing.  (chuckles) I mean, look at Ben Carson!  The scrub was a surgeon who had no idea about anything to do with politics, and then he goes and tries to become president!  Morons with no political background have no business running for president.

Me: Trump is a businessman and reality show character.  It seems to me that if anyone’s not qualified, it’s Trump.

Chuck: You’re getting mixed up.  The businessman and reality show character was Ronald Trump, not Donald Trump.  Donald Trump has spent his life in politics.

Me:  What other political positions has he held?

Chuck: (long pause) I think he was the governor of California in the early 2000’s.

Me:  That was Arnold Schwarzenegger.  

Chuck:  Same thing.

Me:  Not really.  Do you believe that, if elected, Trump will blow up the world with America’s nukes?

Chuck:  First of all, there is no “if.”  Donald Trump will be elected.  No doubt about it.  But yes, I believe that Trump will blow up the world.

Me:  Then why do you support him?

Chuck: (another long pause) Well, at least ISIS will be gone.

Me:  But we’ll be dead, too.

Chuck: No, we won’t.  Trump’s got everything under control.  I suspect he’ll give us a space station to live in.

Me:  Like Wall-E?

Chuck:  Yeah.

Me:  (long pause)  OK…  Thank’s for your time, Chuck.

Chuck:  No problem.  Go Trump!