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Tips For Getting In Shape

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Tips For Getting In Shape

A man who has just apparently attempted tip #5.

A man who has just apparently attempted tip #5.

A man who has just apparently attempted tip #5.

A man who has just apparently attempted tip #5.

BHS Blueprint Staff, Staff

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Here at the BHS Blueprint, we take our fitness very seriously.  We have compiled our best fitness tips to help you feel better and live longer.

  • Count calories and eat as much McDonald’s as you can.
  • Try to get a new high score for calorie intake every day.
  • Put your car in cruise control and run in place while driving.
  • Spend several hours per day on YouTube watching videos of people working out.
  • Find a bear and hit it with a stick so you are motivated to do cardio.
  • Compete in a food-eating contest.
  • Never raise your heart rate; this will keep it healthy.
  • Instead of driving, try pushing your car to school.
  • Break up with your significant other so you don’t have to carry around that dead weight.
  • Ride on top of your bus to work on your balance.
  • Eat more, exercise less.  Maybe the other way around.
  • Add large doses of lard to your diet.
  • Have your physician tell everyone you’re the healthiest president of all time.
  • Stay indoors at all times to avoid the polluted outdoor air.
  • Have healthy people lower your self-esteem.
  • Put your Fitbit in the blender to increase your daily step count.
  • Join the marching band.  They’re a sport, apparently.
  • Purchase all health-related items from the Infowars store.
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Tips For Getting In Shape